Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Muse Free Zone

“Oh, you write,” someone said to me the other day. “Where do you get your ideas?”

“My brain,” I said. “Why, where do you get yours?”

The Muses and Apollo, busting some moves. 

I hate when people ask where I get my ideas. Partly because I’m not a neurologist or a philosopher, and partly because what do they really expect me to say?

Oh, I signed up for this club. Every month they send me a new idea. And fruit!

My ideas? They’re not mine. The god-emperor Zork transmits them to me from his citadel on Omega Six, using the Pay TV satellite. All hail Zork.

I inherit all the ideas of my enemies when I kill them in battle and consume their flesh.

I sneak around the neighbourhood at night and steal the dreams of sleeping children using a butterfly net and black magic.

I only actually have one single idea, but it’s a master of disguise.

Because, you know what? Everyone has ideas. Every person, every single day. It’s just that some of us have got into the habit of cobbling a few of them together to see what interesting new shapes they make, and what we can do with them. That doesn’t make us more inspired or gifted than others, it just makes us more practiced.

I don’t have a muse. I have a brain that collects detritus I sift through later.

How about you? 


  1. I think it was Stephen King who was asked that and said "Never mind where I get my ideas, how do you make yours stop?"

  2. You mean Zork's been talking to you, too? Awesome. I'll send you one of the badges I made for my smoking jacket.

    But really, those are some wonderfully awesome answers. Where'd you ever get those ideas?

    1. Zork only talks to a chosen few -- I'm glad you're in the club as well.

      Also, aaarrgghhhh!!! *headdesk*

  3. ...I have a bad feeling mine may actually come from Inception...

    1. Then next time we'll talk about how there is no such thing as an original idea, just an original way to spin it...and I love Inception!

  4. I do a Vulcan mind meld with my dog and write about the things that make her kick and whine in her sleep.

    1. That's mostly stories about possums then? Or rabbits? :)

    2. Mmm...now I want toasted cheese!

  5. this reminds me of that old they might be giants song that goes "there's only two songs in me and I just wrote the third, do know where I get the inspiration or how I wrote the words, spent my whole life digging up my music's shallow grave, for the two songs in me and the third one I just made." So basically ideas come from people you dig out of shallow graves, is that right?



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