Friday, October 5, 2012

Dear Bogans

Dear Bogans, 

While I often hang around the comments sections of News.com.au just to get a cheap laugh and learn about how immigrants/Muslims/women are destroying your job/country/marriage, unless you can fix up some of your more basic mistakes, I regret that I will no longer be able to read your litany of complaints about the government/petrol prices/gay marriage. 

A bogan
source
Because I'll read any comment, seriously, however badly it's argued, as long as at least 80% of it is spelled correctly. Please take note of the following: 

1. The word is appalled. Not apaulled. There is actually no such word as apaulled. That's why when you type it on the computer, a little red line appears underneath it. Now, I know as well as anyone that you can't always trust the spellcheck feature of a computer, but I say that as someone who has a proper for-realsies dictionary sitting on her desk, whereas I'm fairly sure you have to move at least six empty tinnies of VB,a carton of Winfield Blues and some sort of V8 Supercar memorabilia to reach your computer. 

2. I'm sorry, am I being rediculous? No, no I'm not, because there is no such thing. I am appalled that you would even accuse me of that. (See that? Appalled, not apaulled. Refer to point 1.) Seriously, if you feel the urge to use words of more than three syllables to make yourself seem sneeringly aloof -- "Gazza, don't be so farkin' rediculous!" -- please ensure you spell them correctly. Otherwise you just look like a wanker. 

Or maybe that's just the mullet. 

3. I've probably annoyed you so much that you've already left this blog. Well, good riddens to you. This is one I've seen more and more often lately, usually after a post about immigrants, boat people, or anyone not born in this country. You know, the generic racist-whackjob comment that starts with "If they don't like it here..." and ends with my questioning whether or not your parents were closely biologically related. 


Do yourself a favour and check out some of the other words while you're there. 

Thanks, 

Jen. 



7 comments:

  1. ARRRRGHGHGHGGHGH the spelling! It makes my braaaaain huuuuurt!

    I love that you posted about bogans. Whenever I talk about bogans, my international friends go, "Huh? What's a bogan?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol Trisha! That's why I love talking about bogans! To share the love with people from overseas. Why should we be the only ones who suffer?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Never heard of bogans, but foolish me, I had to know more, and now I got this song in my head.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA8gJoT5yl4

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing!

      And I'd just like to point out that the cigarettes the bogan is buying in that video are...Winfield Blues! I called it in my post.

      Delete
    2. I did notice that - thanks to your post, I felt rather like an expert on this particular species' behavior.

      Delete
  4. Hey, does my brother know you're showing his pic? Sadly, yes, he would be the guy on the websites writing all that crap, but without the "u" in everything like colour and favour. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One in every family, LG!

      But hey, the world would be a boring place without them, right?

      Delete

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