Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Siege Mentality. Also, a Disney question.
Because of my possums I have developed a siege mentality. Or, at least, what I think might be a siege mentality. I haven't actually looked it up. Also, I haven’t tried tunnelling out, but I’m not ruling it out. Except then I would probably discover wombats, right? Which would be just my luck. I mean, I like wombats, but only in the abstract way I once loved possums. Before I found myself sharing a house with them.
My niece Meg heard about my latest possum encounter. She let me borrow this book.
Possum in the House is a chilling urban horror story filled with terror and disquiet, masquerading as a children’s picture book. Scary stuff. What’s scariest is the fact it was first published in the 1980s, and has a record player in it. Remember those? You weren’t allowed to touch them in case you scratched the records or broke the needle. Or, because of that one time, when you threw a wooden coat hanger at your sister’s head, missed, and smashed the glass cabinet the records were in. And then you got grounded, so you had to sneak out your window, commando crawl through the BBQ area, and climb the back fence to play in your favourite storm drain.
But anyway, possums. Short of closing my windows, there’s not much I can do.
Okay, so closing my windows might sound like an obvious solution, but it really isn’t. And here’s why:
It’s November. It’s stinking hot. If I don’t have open windows, I don’t have a breeze. I need the breeze or I will die.
Also, I cannot close my windows. Literally. The last time I closed them was during my Cyclone Yasi preparations several years ago. I beat the hell out of the latches but nothing happened. So I unscrewed them with a power drill. I figured gravity would do the rest and the windows would close. Not so much. Apparently my windows pre-date gravity. In the end I got a hammer and bashed (delicately) around the window frame until they came unstuck. It took over an hour to close all the windows in my very small house and, unless another cyclone is breathing down my neck, it’s not something I want to do again.
Also, there’s no point. Even if I close my windows, the possums can squeeze through the wooden shutters in my kitchen and bathroom.
So I’m trying not to feel to besieged. I’m trying to feel like a Disney princess instead. Because if you can’t fix the problem, you’ve gotta try changing your attitude right?
Me now, under siege:
Me next week:
But with possums.
Which Disney character would you most like to emulate? And let's not forget that Star Wars is now in the game. In which case, I'm gonna change my answer to Han Solo. Now and for always.