Wednesday, September 11, 2013

More slut shaming..this time IRL

Okay, so I'm putting my feminist pants on. (Note, these are still my pyjama pants.) 

It's time to talk slut shaming again. In the same week that Miley Cyrus is getting called a slut, while Robin Thicke is getting called...nothing, really; in the same week apparently the news broke that some guy from Google has been sleeping with some woman who is not his wife. Specifically, some woman called Amanda Rosenberg. Now, I know absolutely nothing about this case at all. Yep, I'll admit my ignorance. But I'll admit reading an article online just because I was at work, I was bored, and I was checking the news sites. And I really thought that there would be more to the article than was apparent. 


source

I mean, is she some femme fatale who is engaging in industrial espionage to bring down Google? Um...no. 

Why is this news? Who cares about the private lives of these people? And, more importantly, why do people who know nothing of the parties involved feel like they have the right to make judgements? And write things like: “You are such a soulless person. No morality. Ruining a man’s life. Think of his two children ... Shame on you."

Okay...what? As far as I'm aware, only one of the people in this relationship was married. And it wasn't her. Does that make it right? Hell, no. But unless this poor guy slipped and fell repeatedly into her bed (you know, I was going to say something worse there) then at least he has to shoulder half the blame. 

And you know whose responsibility it was to think of his children? His. 

So she's a slut, and he's a victim? Yeah, right. Tell that to his little head. 

I actually don't know what is worse here: that this sort of bullshit attitude still pervades the real world, or that it's still a staple of fiction. A woman's a slut if she has sex. A home-wrecking slut if she has sex with a married man. And she's also somehow magically a slut if she doesn't have sex, but dresses in a way that a man might find provocative. 

And you know what? I find this attitude just as insulting to men, who obviously can't be trusted to make decisions with their brains, and are constantly at the mercy of their genitals. Wow, guys, must be difficult to live like that. 

For the record, I don't actually consider myself that much of a feminist. If you don't like me, that's fine. But if you don't like me because of the way that I dress, or the things I do in my private life, or who I choose to sleep with, just because I'm a woman, then go to hell. I'm unlikeable enough without bringing gender values into it, I promise. 

*Ends blog as feminist pants appear to have morphed into cranky pants*

(And, check out the linked article. Anyone who lists the phrase "children are the orgasm of life" as annoying can't be all bad. Eugh. What marketing team let that one out?)

*** 
What's annoying you this week? 

8 comments:

  1. What's annoying me? The same things as you. Bravo for a succinct post on the double standard. I have a pair of feminist pants too - I keep them handy for certain times.

    There are a lot of misguided females out there.

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    Replies
    1. A lot of misguided people on both sides of the gender divide, unfortunately!

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  2. I think it goes way back in our genetics - if a female, who wants to mate with a male and so be protected and live in his man cave, sees another female going into his cave, she's not going to throw a rock at him and risk her chance with him or another guy, but is going to trounce on the competition. Even if that competition is only wearing a smaller grass skirt and so keeping the guy from looking at her.

    And again, she can't tear down the guy, 'cause the guy's just showing how awesome he is to be an alpha male. No need to whack his brontosaurus with a club - no, you got to whack whoever gets near it.

    But for the guys? What's their excuse? If the woman's their mate, they got to keep her faithful so they'll be sure to continue his proud line of ape ancestors. And if she's not his mate, and won't even look at him, well then, he got to put her down as not being worth going after. That he doesn't want her 'cause she's just trash. Which again, keeps all the other women in line as well.

    Sometimes I wish there were three genders - male, female, and a bisexual angelic being who whacks the crap out of anyone who starts pulling this shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may be right about the biology side of it...but it's nothing a little bit of higher thinking will sort out!

      And yes, where's that bisexual angelic being when you need one?

      Also, did you know that in Samoa there is a third gender? It is called fa'afafine. It's difficult to define in English. Not gay exactly, but more what we might call trans.

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    2. Cool about Samoa. And I just watched this film about how the Navajo have something very much the same.

      http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/two-spirits/

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    3. Thanks Steve! I will check it out.

      Delete
  3. What's annoying? That, now that I've read it. Grrr, this pisses me off. I'm so sick of men never being held responsible for their sex lives, but women are blamed for what they wear. Then we get called "Femi-nazis" for complaining about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely! Call it, and suddenly you're a feminazi!

      I'm sorry to have annoyed you, but when I get annoyed like this, I feel the need to vent :)

      Delete

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