Sunday, September 15, 2013

Pens: Now for Women

From the WTF files, or, more accurately Amazon, here it comes: 

That's right. It's pens. For ladies. Seriously. And, I quote, "Elegant design -just for her!" And "Thin barrel to fit a woman's hand".  *checks diary to make sure it's not the 1950s anymore*


But you guys, it gets funnier. Check out some of the product reviews: 

From Tracey Hamilton: 

Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.

From Ersil: 

Can these pens be bought individually? I only intend to write things until I find a man and get married, so it's a waste of my hard-earned secretary salary to buy the whole pack.

From Courtney: 

I see this comes in a sleek design. But as a "full-figured" woman, do these pens come in "curvy and carefree"?

And a note of warning from P. Davies: 

First of all I'm a male. I picked a pink one up by mistake to write a quick note... Next thing I know I'm sitting down to take a pee. Be careful.

***

Anyone who says that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit is doing it wrong. 

8 comments:

  1. Finally, a pen I can use! Those pens designed for men really hurt my gentle female hands. Now if only they could do something about that awful masculine paper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, JE, I know. I feel your pain. But until the good gentlemen at Bic can come up with a better solution, I find that writing on the pressed petals of flowers is an adequate substitute for that ghastly masculine paper.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. The responses are hilarious! Reading them gives me hope for humanity. But as for the marketing people at Bic. Really? REALLY?

      Delete
  3. That's why I haven't written my epic novel yet...I have been trying to use men's pens! Silly me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! And now there's nothing stopping you, thanks to the genius of the good men at Bic. Maybe next year we can look forward to a range of slim pencils for all the lady artists out there.

      Delete
  4. Well, Freud did say that women suffered from pens envy...

    ReplyDelete

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