Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Do something crazy

Your writing goals for this week: 

Have fun with audience expectations. 

Make the unexpected choice. 

Do something crazy. 

This video makes me laugh every time I watch it. 

It also makes me wish it had actually happened. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Seriously? A nightmarish pictorial adventure.

I apologise in advance for the quality of the photos. It was late, and I was hysterical.

So, just when you think the nightmare is over... 

For months, nothing. 

When my American co-author visited and wanted to see them...nothing. 

And then, two nights ago: 

My kitchen. 3.30 a.m. 

Not only had it started again, but it's started with a really dumb one. 

If I don't look at her, she can't see me. 

It's okay, I thought. It'll climb up the shutters and get out the same way it got in. 

 No, wait...what are you..? 

You...you've passed the way out. THAT'S TOO HIGH!

Oh God. I can't even... Maybe if I open the door beside you, you'll go out that way. 

I have no pictorial evidence for what happened next. I was too busy screaming and jumping around. 

What happened was that as I stepped forward to open the door, Cleo saw the possum. And the possum saw Cleo. 



The possum launched itself toward the door -- not the back door unfortunately. The study door, which I was standing in front of. I do remember it running between my legs, but then I sort of lost track of it. I sort of lost track of everything except mindless panic. I had a firm hold on mindless panic. 

Anyway, a few minutes later when I gradually calmed the hell down, I noticed that at least one furry creature had used the back door. In the torrential rain. 

Hey! Guess what? It's raining out here! 

It's okay. I don't need a towel. I'll dry myself on the walls. 

Leaving Cleo to wipe up, I went looking for the possum in my study. And ah, there it was: 

At this point, I admitted defeat -- I've always been a slow learner -- and closed the study door and went to bed. There are shutters in the study as well. I figured the possum would find its own way out by morning. 

And, I figured, at least I'd scared that possum so badly that it wouldn't come into my house again for a while, right? RIGHT? 


Last night. Midnight. My bathroom. 

Okay, so it was back. At least this time it would be smart enough to get straight back out the shutters, right? RIGHT? 

What is WRONG with you??? 

The worst thing is, I really needed to go to the toilet. That's the toilet there, in the bottom of the photo. 

So I went to the toilet with a towel on my head. 

I've lost this war. And my dignity. 

Send help. 

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Back on the Blogging Bandwagon

Well, so much for my best laid plans to be a better blogger this year. 

Here's what happened with that. 

Firstly, I was recovering from surgery, and totally overestimated my ability to still be able to do stuff. 

I mean, it's lying in bed with my laptop. I've done that before. You know, I bet I'll actually get more done than usual because what else will I have to do? 

The answer to that is: Sleep for at least fourteen hours a day. 

But I'm back up and about now, and feeling much better. 

The second thing was my pseudonym, and a deadline that was fast approaching for a book already under contract. And those developmental edits were massive, and required a lot of rewriting what I already had, plus adding in a bunch of new stuff. 

Oh, well it won't be that hard. It'll probably take a week at the most. I can totally manage it. 

All I'll say on that front is: that deadline was the scariest ever. I made it, but there were a few days there when I thought I was about to crash and burn. Deadline, meet writer's block. You two are going to love each other. 

In retrospect, I don't think I'm disciplined enough to become a full-time writer. I think I may actually get more done when I'm also working the day job, because then I tell myself that I have to write now, or I won't get another chance for a while. Whereas, on holidays, I tell myself that I can absolutely have a nap, or watch TV, or try to teach the cat to sit. A failure, BTW. 

You know that saying about busy people getting more done? 

I think I'm ready to be a busy person again. 


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